When we start talking to someone, they disappear like it's talking on the telephone, and there's a connection.

Beyond the initial "oh", it's what is inside that matters. people around us love us and relate for reasons, often it's hard to understand what they like about us. But they "see something"

Physically we are talking about burning more calories than we take in.

Part of this is related to your metabolism. The body changes in response to exercise, by increasing your metabolic rate. This leads to the body burning more calories even when you are not exercising. It takes time for the body to adapt as it is a physiological change.

Diet is also important.

Observe a slim person eat, they tend to take smaller mouthfuls more gradually and chew more.

The New York Times had a very helpful article What if It's All Been a Big Fat Lie? July 7, 2002 By GARY TAUBES

This would be available from the archive at http://www.nytimes.com

The key points of the NYT article were:

Carbohydrate has half the calories of fat
We eat loads of carbohydrates
eg: mountain of rice or chips with meat.
We take in more calories through carbohydrate than fat.
Fat is satisfying so we can cut way down on carbohydrate without feeling hungry.

Also sugar is a real problem, and carbohydrate turns to sugar.